How...

How can I turn and face You?
How can I ever feel righteous in Your eyes again?
How can I accept the forgiveness you offer,
When I can't break free from my sin?

How can I trust now-
After everything that has been done?
How can I appreciate the love you give,
When I feel like the devil has won?

How can I get up and run,
When I am surrounded by walls on every side?
I see You, Lord, there in the distance.
I see Your arms open wide.

But when will I loose sight of that-
Those are that embrace?
When will it be too late
For me to turn around and see Your face?

My biggest fear await the day
When You return victoriously...
I know that I have sinned Lord.
But will You still be disappointed in me?

I push the line day after day.
I see how far I can go.
I hate that when the time comes,
It's always so hard to let go.

You say in Hosea
That there is a time to come,
When You will lead me into the wilderness
So I can learn where my Help comes from.

So is that what You are doing, God?
Is that where I am?
Or did I lead myself to this place,
Alone and standing of shifting sand?